How not to go about getting a dress altered …
It’s pouring with rain. This is Glasgow. Of course it’s pouring with rain. The dress I need to be altered however, is safe and protected within a bag, complete with coat hanger, and stuffed under my coat. As a consequence I look more pregnant than when I was pregnant, with the coat hanger however lending a slightly more lumpy look to my phantom pregnancy.
I arrive at the menders in a muck sweat and feeling somewhat wretched having got lost yet again, but am shuffled nonetheless by a Polish Scot whom I don’t really understand at all, into a tiny changing room in order to apparently take off all my clothes and get into said dress. I take this literally and simply hope there are not going to be any Marilyn Monroe moments with air swooshing up under my dress …. but this is neither a film, nor America I remind myself.
Well she seemed to know what she was doing and within five minutes and having been pinned within an inch of my life, it’s time to return behind the curtain to take off the dress.
Problem…. I am stuck…. Completely stuck. Oh dear God!
Humiliation doesn’t really cover it.
With one arm pinned to my side, the other in the air and an eye peering out of the arm hole, I squeak to the seamstresses from behind the modesty of the curtain for help to be freed … This is then thrust aside and a large unit of a woman squeezes into the tiny space beside me. Now we are both stuck.
My head is thrust into her cleavage and she bellows with great authority, as if I am deaf as well as stupid, “Hold on, now SHIMMY LASSIE, SHIMMY!” Now don’t get me wrong, I love a clear instruction, so ooooh how I shimmied! As however, so did she, with my face still between her breasts, pummelling me, whilst pins pricked, stabbed and scraped.
Moments later I reappeared from swathes of fabric and the depths of a large pair of breasts, somewhat dizzy, red-faced, thankfully free, however completely starkers with a total stranger … Turns out, she didn’t work in the menders at all.
Today, I have no signs of depression or anxiety whatsoever! Life in Glasgow continues. 😳😳
Kx
Oh my Gawd, can I repost this?Hiarious!
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Of course! So glad you liked it … it was so desperately embarrassing!
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I love that the woman didn’t even work there. Hahahah!
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Yes … arghhh!
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I mean Hilarious (spell check F-ed up.)
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A change room “oops”! I would imagine getting flustered for sure with the changing of clothes!
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‘A change room oops!’ …. I love that!
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Funny!!!
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And humiliating!!
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Hilarious. Thanks for the laugh! You got my follow. Can’t wait to read from you.
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Ha! Thanks very much indeed ☀️☀️
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My pleasure! Have a lovely day. 😊
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GREAT story 😀 Thanks!
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Thank you for reading! 💙
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lol – this is a great story lol
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This is hysterical! Welcome to that little voice and thank you for following my blog. I’m reblogging this, because we all need a great laugh on Fridays.
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Thank you! It’s always good to have a laugh 😀
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Reblogged this on that little voice and commented:
Happy Friday everyone…and Shimmy all day!
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I’m here via That Little Voice and so glad I dropped in …. your story has me snorting with laughter much to the chagrin of the chic French passers-by as I sip coffee in the garden 😂
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Ha! I’m so glad! We’re just leaving the rather chic Italians now as I type … I’m feeling scruffy and very ‘un-chic’ … so glad you enjoyed it 😊
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Thank you so much for following my blog – I surely hope not to disappoint. I will take the opportunity to follow you too … anyone who does scruffy amongst the chic is a kindred of mine!!!
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How could I resist a post with knickers in the title, after all we all wear them. Oops – maybe I shouldn’t have made that public!!!!
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Ha! Indeed we do … that said, I rather assume we do (except perhaps the Scots?)!
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