Blasted Cyclists!

person riding on bicycle near trees
Photo by Bogdan R. Anton on


Yesterday’s little jaunt of 18.3km and not a centimetre less my thighs are telling me this morning, was an interesting learning curve on the etiquette of cyclists.

It turns out that my peddling companions are, once squeezed into their Lycra, helmet on and fearsome black glasses stretched across their faces are the two-wheeled equivalent to the white van driver, or for those who have not encountered our congested British roads and it’s drivers, that person who sits incognito behind a computer screen making foul remarks on social media knowing that they will never have to reveal their true identity.

You may call me harsh, but an hour or two daily around the streets of London and through the parks for the past three weeks has taught me that they’re a competitive bunch, who have no idea of personal space, cycling side-by-side, ignoring the designated cycle lanes, chattering obliviously with their fellow cyclists, upsetting even the most docile natured drivers and never saying thank you by means of a teensy little hand wiggle or nod when someone actually gives them a wide berth. Pah! Such rudeness!

However, I will admit, that whilst writing in fury, I’m generalising somewhat … but I write what I see, every single day.

There was however a very nice chap at the lights whom I asked advice from about where I should be positioned in the road at a particularly tricky junction … he replied, “No clue, just cycle fast and straight and everyone will get out of your way, mostly.” It was the “mostly” that concerned me, so I wobbled to the pavement, pretended to look at my map, and when the road was completely empty continued on my merry way.

Through Richmond Park I pedalled like fury, sadly overtaken by every other cyclist, most irritatingly by a young lad and his companion, an elderly man who I can only presume was his his great, great grandfather … it’s just like skiing, having the little blighters shoot past you with a whoosh of snow as I bellow at them to give me some fucking space. (Sorry about that, just thinking about it gets me reaching for my happy pills and a glug of Bach’s Rescue Remedy.)

I did at one particularly low point see a most capable (and enormous) man dressed in rather fetching red and white Lycra with a large cross on his back, and feeling safer being close to a Red Cross worker (or in my mind, a paramedic), tried even harder to keep up with him. No joy I’m afraid, and as I realised whilst watching his rather muscular bottom disappearing up the hill in front of me, he was in fact a professional Swiss team competitor … in training. I really must work on my flag recognition.

So I arrived back at home yesterday feeling slightly despondent to see the Colonel had been organising and tidying the garage again. If he found evidence of my recent shopping expedition by way of a few rather nice shoe boxes, he didn’t pass comment. He did however give me a rather lecherous look and despite my being disgustingly hot, sweaty and a tad grumpy went in for a kiss … my response, “Quite frankly, on yer bloody bike mate.” I thought that was quite witty, his forlorn face said otherwise.

Today will be a better day ….

Katie xx

How do you rate drivers and cyclists in your neck of the woods?

21 thoughts on “Blasted Cyclists!”

      1. oh yes there is a whole blog on lane etiquette, which is really just normal courtesy. More to the point (or the peak) though i found a lot more courtesy from other road cyclists when i took the peak off my cycle helmet, thats only for mountain bikers dontchaknow

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Vancouver is quite a bike-friendly city, with lots of bike lanes, but the jury is still out on whether it’s the cyclists or the drivers who are the most badly behaved. The downtown core is full of bike couriers, and it’s rather frightening to see them flying around, seemingly oblivious to the fact that cars could kill them.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, I discovered today that it was the drivers who received my wrath … nearly got taken out by a skip truck .. grrrr. Vancouver sounds good with the cycle lanes; there are quite a few here but drivers still veer into them. 😟

      Liked by 2 people

  2. So funny, I do remember the cyclists they are a different breed of people, as you said rude at the best of times. Pleased you managed to get around safely that is the main thing. Swimming lanes, oh yes they will swim over the top of you to get past, or kick you to death. Why do people have to be like this, what happened to manners, kindness, politeness and tolerance.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s not so much that cyclists annoy me…. here or anywhere else I have been….I just have this really strong view (and I don’t have many strong views on anything really) that cyclists AND motorists shouldn’t be on the road TOGETHER. I think it’s completely mental. Should be one or the other. Don’t mind which.
    Pleased to hear you survived without any breakages! 😁👍👊🏻

    Liked by 1 person

      1. haha yes! nobody ever hears those bloody bells cyclists have do they?! You have my sympathy – you can’t please everyone!! xxx

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I don’t envy you cycling in London – or any metropolis for that matter. It would scare the sh*t out of me. I confine myself to the country lanes around here on Sunday mornings when most people are either in bed or in Church. Thanks for liking my #WATWB post about mental health week (month?) and the ‘Darkness Into Light’ walks.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Just don’t get me started on cyclists in general. I echo every word you have said and will simply add that my eldest daughter refers to those competitive blighters as MAMILs … Middle Aged Men in Lycra 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Don’t get me started. Can I say it..i don’t like cyclists in London. Arrogant, rude and selfish. There said it!! Can’t change my mind until I see more respect paid to pedestrians, car drivers who have to drive in London and buses. Afterall it is their bus lane so cyclists have some respect for the 250 or more passengers each bus holds who have no choice but to travel on one. You don’t pay either or hold a licence so your rudeness can’t be registered. If I cycle..not often..i am mortified if I hold anyone up. More often I peddle the back and side roads. And as for cycling slowly in front of a bus and blocking it..well I couldn’t sleep at night.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m way too frightened to cycle in front of a bus! On your behalf on my cycle this morning I’ve been smiling and thanking everyone profusely! I think I look like a bit of a nutter! X


  7. Cyclists often use our canal tow path to get into the city rather than the road. Understandable. Except it means I can no longer walk along it as I am deaf to high pitches and cannot hear cycle bells. As I can hear car engines it is safer for me to walk along the road!
    Brilliantly funny as always Katie but I have some sympathy with the Colonel as I find hot and sweaty looking women pretty irresistable too…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha!! Wonderful! As for your hearing, I sympathise enormously as the Colonel also has a few ear issues but I think that’s army related (bangs and bombs etc) however his is slightly unpredictable which makes me believe it’s perhaps selective hearing … Funnily enough, a lot of people don’t hear the cycle bells as they have headphones in … Maybe bicycles, cars and people just don’t mix. If I ever cycled in your vicinity, I promise to give you a very wide berth and to sing loudly so we don’t crash! 🚴‍♀️🚴‍♀️🚴‍♀️


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