Passion!

cabbage white butterfly perching on purple flower in selective focus photography
Photo by mali maeder on Pexels.com

Time management is not my forte. In truth there is no management. I flit from one thought or task to another with extraordinary ease. I start something, bore easily, become distracted and like the proverbial butterfly, flutter away to something else. The end result? An over-filled brain of constant thoughts and ideas, and an awful lot of half-finished jobs.

An ex-boyfriend of mine (the same one who gave me the self-help book with post-it notes in the appropriate pages) told me that I was not a ‘Completer Finisher’. Apparently there is even a term for people like me! I finished with him pretty smartish so not quite sure he was entirely correct.

However, to contradict myself, from time to time I find something that I genuinely enjoy and lo and behold I become addicted. (If you know me well, alcohol may well spring to the forefront of your mind, but I was thinking of something more positive like, cycling perhaps.). I become obsessive about it and am completely driven and focused. This is all well and good if it’s a positive activity, not so much if it’s something like drinking alcohol, over-eating, under-eating, biting ones nails (having typed this, I now realise that I can lay claim to all of those). Once again, this rather reconfirms my out of kilter ability to moderate. Fair enough, my total lack of moderation.

My mother used to say, “A little of what you fancy does you good.” And yes she was right, but then again she wasn’t having to peel the wine bottle from my arms as I lay on the floor wailing. I do think however she wondered, and often despaired no doubt, as to why I hopped from one ghastly secretarial job to another. The answer, they bored me rigid.

People however have never bored me. I love talking (one on one, rather than in large groups … it’s a social anxiety thing). And most of all I love it when I meet someone whom I ‘click’ with. The problem is that I get terribly over-excited, want to scoop them up, take them home with me and force them to tell me their entire life history. Slightly strange I grant you and hardly surprising that I struggled socially in my youth. But I need interaction to other human beings, because otherwise I bore myself. And that is why I must go and get a job as soon as I’m back from my bicycling adventure. It’s when I try to engage the postman in some chatter and I can see his eyes glaze over as he backs nervously down the path, then I know that I have to get out more. I suspect he thinks I’m a complete fruitcake, but living in London I suspect, or rather hope, that I am not alone.

Online dating was enormous fun! Again lots of people to chatter to, but of course they were always utterly confused when after a lovely evening together and I had listened with enthusiasm to their various tales, I said, “Thanks awfully and super lovely to meet you, but we’re simply not a match! Toodle Pip!” And with a breezy smile I’d be gone, and they’d be left scratching their heads looking utterly baffled. You see, as a friend, they’re fabulous, but as a future husband, hopeless. By the time pudding had come along my mind was starting to wander, by coffee I was losing the will to live, so in order to find a lifetime partner (awful word, apologies) I was going to have to meet someone slightly extraordinary who kept me hooked, interested and completely on my toes. Thankfully for the male population of the counties of Oxfordshire, Berkshire and Hampshire, after four long years of searching, I found The Colonel and we are both as nightmarish as each other, so really it’s a match made in heaven.

So you see this butterfly behaviour when I lose interest, and obsessional behaviour when I find my passion, is really rather an extension of my lack of moderation. I do wish that I was normal, but there is a positive here ….

Whilst a lot of things will find me filled with ennui at the tedium of it all – paperwork, political debates, Post Office queues and quinoa (I don’t do ‘bland’ and that’s at the top of my list, along with semolina), I do have passions and they include … you. I adore my WordPress friends, my non-Wordpress friends, blogging, writing, reading, cycling, tennis, quirky people and crumpets with masses of butter and a tiny dot of marmite. You are all my passion, not just for the here and now, but if you can possibly tolerate me and I don’t bore you senseless, then I’m afraid you’re stuck with me. Sorry about that …

Katie xx

Do you have a passion? Do you bore easily or are you disciplined and finish tasks?

45 thoughts on “Passion!”

  1. I suspected it before but now I know for sure: you and I were separated at birth. You have described me down to the last detail. I am actually a little lost for words. I honestly don’t know what to say. Yes to all of that. Me in a nutshell. If I ever need to submit a bio, I’ll just copy and paste this post. I bloody love you. xxxxxxxxx

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Oh I just love this! And your heart on sleeve writing. This is not me entirely, although I will talk the hind legs off a donkey and have been described as “exciting” !! Who knew? But my husband is exactly like you which is great when we all love it too but last year was a country music obsession…we rode it out with gritted teeth lol xx

    Liked by 2 people

      1. 😂😂 I know. Currently he has a new car so that is his focus for a while. I saw him youtubing waxing your car 😂😂

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Oh I can relate because I overdo things too! I have no doubt I will be the lady with 27 cats because (technically) I’ve already done that! I used to feed feral cats at our old home and at its peak I had 19 outside cats to feed. There wasn’t a mouse within a mile of my house though so it had its perks. I can’t eat two biscuits, I’ll wade through an entire pack. A whole jar of Branston, 3 books in two days – I can be excessive. Even with baking – I can’t just make a couple of dozen cookies at a time. I’ll bake 15 or 20 dozen and then give them away. I’m aware I’m like this and I try to rein myself in except when buying shoes because only megalomaniacs can control shoe buying so it’s a very good sign I don’t… isn’t it??

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Wonderful!!! Yes, you’ll definitely be the mad cat lady, but that’s a really good thing … everyone loves her! Sounds to me like we have some similarities going on, but I’m with you re the shoes! You can never have enough 😃😃

      Liked by 2 people

  4. This has been my thought du jour as well. Such irony to see this post. I flit from thing to thing and idea to idea and interest to interest. I just can’t sit still. I can’t mental still either. So I shall join you on your endless quest. Well unless something else distracts me. Oh look – a squirrel! 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I was like a circus side-show for years … queen of an endless carnival that people enjoyed visiting, watching, joining in just enough, laughing and walking away from. I hated it. Several things happened in the space of 5 years that nearly finished me. Out of that funeral pire I rebuilt a different me. One that didn’t need to be a phoenix but was satisfied to genuinely be me, not the me that was scared to let anyone see who I really was in case they were bored or hurt me. Not the actress but a person who embraces my complications and celebrates them. I am disorganised but I love order, I am obsessive but my obsessions can leave as soon as they arrived, I am passionate and vibrant and I am still and introspective, I am introverted and yet I can be the life and soul of a party. I’m nobodies side-show any more, I’m me and meeting my one true love has allowed me to face me and be rather pleased with what I see. I honestly do believe that love really is all we need and it seems that you and The Colonel prove my theory admirably well 💕 xx

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Oh my goodness, your beautiful descriptions never fail to move me. I don’t know what happened but I shall have a look through your earlier posts as I really feel for you, am intrigued and so proud of you, of how far you must have come. Love is all that matters, you’re right, thank goodness we both know that. I wish that I had realised this earlier. I am so happy that all is now well in your world and I feel privileged to be able to be just a teeny, tiny part of this chapter in your life, even though it’s via cyberspace. Katie xx

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I don’t write much about me per se so don’t bust a gut to read my stuff …. I know how hard it is keeping up with the here and now. All of that said, there is a post called ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’ which touches one of the worst moments. I will write more now that I am through the hurdles that led me to be this side of the pond – and believe me, they make you jump high, they make you jump many and when you think you are done they throw some more in your path – thank heavens I’m fit 😂. The feeling of privilege is mutual by the way xx

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’m so glad you’ve managed to wade through the mire .. There always seem to be obstacles for us to prevent an easy life, but perhaps they’re what makes us the people we have become. I don’t know. I can’t however find Don’t Stop Me Now .. which month is it in? I’ve had a good dig, but can’t see it. Can you direct me? Xx

        Liked by 2 people

      3. Bumps in the road, my husband calls them. Just that some of those bumps throw you off the road and into a deep ditch or the middle of a vast field or a tangly hedge with bruises and attendant dazing. Those bumps certainly shape who we become and I do believe that if we can find the purpose in the way things are at a given time then we are fitter to claw our way back and to be stronger for the experience. Anyway. Here is that post (and I searched it and got all sorts of strange responses – bonkers WordPress strikes again 😳) which I eventually found by asking for pink elephants. You’ll understand why when you read it 😉 https://osyth.org/2015/10/11/dont-stop-me-now/ xx

        Liked by 2 people

    1. How wonderful! And what lovely crafts to do … I like the sound of painting and colouring (and your cocktail too!! I wish!). Tennis is a terrific sport. I’m not awfully good, but really, really love playing. Good for you and thanks for reading. Katie

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Pretty good thanks … Am slightly ‘antsy’ now and wanting to just get going to France. Do you feel like this before a marathon? You know you’re fit enough and you just want the day to arrive? How’s you?

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s