It’s Over …

woman stands on mountain over field under cloudy sky at sunrise
Photo by Victor Freitas on Pexels.com

I’ve done it.

I’ve bicycled 1000kms through France, taking the long and winding route of La Velodysee through towns and villages, along canals and rivers, on cycle tracks, roads, through fields, around fields, lost in fields …. I’ve been frightened, I’ve cried, I’ve hurt myself, I’ve hated myself and bored myself. And yet, I’ve also laughed until tears have streamed down my face. I’ve been humbled and I’ve been moved to yet more tears by the kindness of others. That’s quite a lot of tears actually …. odd really for someone who doesn’t tend to cry much.

I’m utterly exhausted, both physically and mentally. I want to speak, I have so much to say and yet the words won’t come. I want to sleep, but my mind is preventing it. And I honestly don’t think anyone really understands at all. I’m not looking for praise so please don’t give it. I’m not wanting congratulations in the least. But I do want to thank each and every one of you for all your encouragement and support throughout this. But at the end of the day, all I have done is very simply to have tested both my mind and body to their absolute limits.

Having never wanted to see another canal, river or pine tree in my life, I am strangely missing them. Having bored myself stupid by my own thoughts for days, weeks, and having longed for conversation (preferably in English), I now crave solitude and peace.

I do however feel that this is normal. This is a normal reaction, behaviour and feelings and as with everything else, my favourite Persian saying comes into play … This too shall pass …

But it’s done. This dizzy, ditzy blonde and (slightly) unhinged woman has done what she set out to achieve. And now, in truth all I want is to sleep.

Katie xxx

God bless you all and thank you for your support.

65 thoughts on “It’s Over …”

  3. Amazing journey, definitely and as much as you don’t want praise, sorry, I am going to give it.
    First I would hug you gently if I was there. Then I would say well done and be proud of this.
    After that, of course I would be ready listening to your experience of it all and what you thought about it all. But as I am aware of how tired you are, I would leave you in peace, but I would be excitedly waiting for you to tell.

    Until then, as the britchy one has just said, enjoy some chocolate. Have your feet up too.
    Xx

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    1. Awww you’re lovely! Thank you so much. Yes, I think chocolate is the answer … funnily enough I simply can’t stop eating – I’ve dropped a fair bit of weight which to be honest I can ill afford, but my goodness I’m just constantly hungry! I’ve been threatening to eat small children if I don’t get my food! Thank you so much for your wonderfully gentle words – it’s just what I needed. Xx

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  6. The shock of achievement is something that must be allowed to percolate through the system in it’s own way …. what you feel is entirely personal and unique to this moment. So just let it be and let it trickle through – that feeling of absolute triumph that you have achieved what you set out to achieve and all those emotions that are bouncing round like lotto balls will settle into their own place and you will grin from ear to ear. What stories you will tell when you have recovered but for now …. for now just go with whatever you feel. I send you so much love and (sorry) SUCH congratulations because YOU>DID>IT!!!! XXXXX

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    1. Thank you … thank you … thank you! You’ve got it. It’s just like those little lotto balls bouncing crazily around. You’re right, it will settle down and normality will start to drift in again. Thank you so much for your encouragement and support throughout all of this – truly. It’s been a complete journey resulting in a total love of France xx

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      1. Oh I knew you would be properly smitten with all things France by the time you reached your destination. It’s impossible not to when you are truly breathing her in and you are in spirit one of hers 😉 xx

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      3. That’s it! You’ve just pinpointed exactly why I feel wan. It is beautiful here (but not the same as France), the people are so friendly and kind (but not the same as France) and the food is delicious (but not the same as France). Mon âme est toujours en France et la France, elle à toujours mon cœur ❣ 🇫🇷 XX

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      4. Yes, yes, yes! For so many reasons I love it here … even the language is beautiful. If there are different accents and variations which are not so lovely, my french is nowhere near good enough to ever be able to pick up on them … therefore to my ear, it all sounds wonderful. Whereas in England there are some words which with certain accents really are ugly. Xx

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      7. Thank you. I had a hunch you might like it … because I had a hunch that was how you feel. That is because YOU are so good with words – translating your feelings into prose with ease 😊 xx

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  8. You achieved your goal and worked through so may of your own personal issues and finally you have got to a place of peacefulness. It is amazing the people you meet on the way who are kind and helpful. What an adventure one of unravelling the soul. Bless you.

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    1. Ooooh yes! You’re spot on! I just cannot stop eating at the moment! The Colonel just raises the occasional eyebrow but even he accepts that I need to add on a few pounds … I’ve just eaten a whole baguette for breakfast though 😬😬

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  11. You have absolutely no idea how amazing you are, do you? Most people in their lifetime will never be able to do what you have just done. I am totally an awe. I am proud that I walked a couple of 5K’s. What an adventure! What fun! A memory that will last you a lifetime and hopefully with many stories and photos to share. What was it like? Most of us are not as strong mentally and physically to do something so extraordinary. I rarely go on WordPress any more but I am glad I read your blog tonight. You are amazing!

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    1. Well thank you so much for reading!! It was as you say, an adventure, a journey, an incredible experience or rather series of experiences which thankfully I have written down because so quickly I forget things. Thanks so much for commenting and reading this, it really makes it worthwhile. Katie x

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      1. You may have just gotten used to being alone. Ease yourself back into “real life.” In college I did a couple of silent retreats, and coming out of the silence was always so weird. The world is a noisy place.

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  21. KATIE!! I’m so thrilled you’re back! I was thinking of you this morning, wondering if you mustn’t be near the goal of this adventure now and so happy to read this. Can’t wait to hear more about it all. As for praise, screw that – I know it’s not what you’re after but I can’t NOT tell you how amazing I think this achievement is. Nothing short of extraordinary, hats off to you lady! Now rest and when you feel back to an even keel and your mind isn’t rushing, get writing – I missed you loads! Anna xx

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    1. Awwww … you sweet, lovely thing! Thank you so much! I’m trying to snatch a little time to myself to catch up on everyones posts and get back to a bit of normality …. all slightly peculiar at the moment (honestly, anyone would think I’ve been away for a year and conquered Everest the way I’m going on!!). Thanks so much for reading and all your encouragement. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it! 😘 xxx

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  22. You may not want praise or congratulations but what you’ve achieved is totally awesome. Think about every single person you know… how many of them have taken on such a personal challenge? You deserve your solitude, time to regroup your emotions, thoughts, fears, plans, but most importantly to absorb that what you did was monumental and all that really matters is that you’re proud of yourself xx ❤️

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  24. I’m grateful for the extra time this isolation has given me to read inspiring blog posts like yours Katie. After your comments, I just had to dig back and check out your journey. What a wonderful achievement. That took lots of courage.

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    1. Oh golly that’s very kind of you. Thank you. Funny thing is that the reason I did the trip was to find my courage, but by the time I had trained for it (well, cycled 3 or 4 times a week) and prepared everything and actually arrived in the north of France, I had already found it. My courage. It was there all along, just hiding I think. Because so many other people had done such wonderful, courageous things, I felt a little in awe of them and a bit of a girl’s blouse if you know what I mean. Anyway, I’m rambling and all I wanted to say was thank you so much for taking the time to read! Katie 💕

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