I’m a Dog!

closeup photo of adult white and tan american bulldog near wall
Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com

A fellow blogger and friend Chelsea, wrote yesterday about friends and being judgemental. (How to win friends … ) Excellent post and something that I suspect a lot of us can resonate with. I know I did.

Historically I struggled to make friends. I was a loner and I didn’t feel as though I could fit in anywhere. But, at that time I was very unhappy. I was hurt and angry with the world and subconsciously I believe people were picking up on this, which made me more isolated and consequently more unhappy. I was on a little miserable hamster wheel of self-indulgent misery!

And alongside this (as if it wasn’t bad enough), I was extremely judgemental. I was like the bulldog looking over the garden fence and seeing the pretty little cat in it’s pretty little garden with it’s oh so green grass. And I hated that cat and all it’s friends with a venomous loathing and frankly wanted to eat the little blighters for lunch.

Yes, I was indeed a bulldog.

At social events I would stress beforehand, arrive in a jitter, and become the infamous wallflower, desperate for someone to talk to me. I’d leave early and then berate myself for being so unutterably wet. But I simply didn’t think that I had anything worthy to talk about and at that time small talk was an anathema to me. What had happened to the carefree young woman of years ago?

However, a strange thing has happened. I have now got a busy little life and what with one thing and another, my days pass in a blurry fizz of happiness and often exhausting, but well received brain-overload. And having of late been forced into a flurry of social occasions with people from different situations, backgrounds, parts of the world and dare I say it, social and class status (I’m in England, it exists) my entire mindset has changed. People are fascinating, and they all have a story to tell!

Most of the time, people do ask about us, and we ask about them. It’s a rather symbiotic relationship, however fleeting, but I guess that’s just small talk for you.

And sometimes, we’ll meet someone completely fabulous who becomes a true friend. There’s that saying, that if you throw enough muck at the wall, eventually some of it will stick. Like online dating, if you meet enough people, probability states that eventually, you’ll meet someone that you gel with. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not really referring to people as muck, but you get the point I hope. Neither am I promoting multiple dating, bed-hopping or anything quite so insalubrious … again, I hope you get the point.

So perhaps now I’m not quite the bolshy bulldog that I once was. And, because there’s no need, I don’t bother looking over the garden fence (unless the neighbours are having a bbq).

I’m more of a little, green happy, hoppy frog bouncing around in my own little garden pond. Yes indeed … I think I’ve found my inner frog who loves everyone. Well, mostly … I am human after all.

Katie xxx

Are you a grumpy bulldog or a happy, hoppy frog?

Do you like socialising? Or do you find it difficult?

(Have you found your inner frog?)

36 thoughts on “I’m a Dog!”

  1. I’d say I’m a fairly happy, hoppy frog who is quite awkward. Definitely not good at the small talk or diving in to crowded ponds (aka social situations). I find it hard to know what to say and ask but I also wouldn’t say I’m totally terrible at it. I do somehow manage, but yep definitely find it slightly uncomfortable and prefer to hop away as soon as I can. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That description of you at a social event is so me. I have pre social meltdown then at the event it feels like I am a gladiator going out to face 100 beasts – about to be eaten alive. Hoping someone will talk to me then desperately trying to sneak out after 10 minutes. Suspect I have got worse not better. Can I be a grumpy toad… Great post Katie.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, if you like, you can be a grumpy toad! (As long as you don’t have those slimy wart things on you!) I do think that being single is also harder as there’s no backup when things get tricky or one is feeling a bit blue about the situation. I really struggled with this. God bless WordPress that we can talk about it.

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  3. I am a bit froggy, a bit bulldog-ish. I think many people can relate to much of what you’ve said here. Rare is that people can have a perfect working life, perfect relationships, and absolute peace to build their utopia in. I think some people fake it better than others though. They make the rest of us look bad. Those self-satisfied felines! Kinda makes you want to knock them outta their tree. Thanks for the post. I needed to find my inner frog.

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    1. I was often told as regards confidence to ‘blag it until you believe it’ … I’m not sure if that worked very well for me but I do get the point of it. I too want to knock those self-satisfied felines out of the tree with a shovel! I find also that so much depends on how one is feeling one particular day as well, which of course for me alternates at a remarkable pace! I hope your inner frog is happy and bouncy today! Katie

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  4. You do make me laugh with some of your expressions. I suppose I have been a grumpy dog but starting to turn into a Hoppy Frog. Did not like parties too much either never seemed to fit in especially family gatherings. Rather not go but had to and then put a stop to doing what was expected.

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    1. But a lovely toad! Well, when your book is a bestseller, you can hide behind your agent and never have to socialise with anyone you didn’t like ever again. By the way, are you on the mend and feeling better? Did anything come to light? I hope you’re much better now … keep me posted.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Gosh, your description of your feelings on socialising sound so much like me Katie.
    My experiences in the last year have shown I can socialise happily if I find the right people. I had no problems at all with the WP buddies I met last year and that was a revelation.

    Great post my favourite frog xx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Aww thanks! 😊. Yes, being around the right people makes it easier doesn’t it … Weirdly I’ve always enjoyed the company of the parents of my friends! Somehow I’ve always found them safe ground. They don’t have anything to prove, they’re wise, kind and usually very happy to have some daft woman chatter away with them. Xx

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  6. I am a happy hoppy frog with a more serious demeanor when alone. I am introverted by nature and treasure my alone time but I can get to know people deeply pretty quickly if it is one-on-one or a small group setting. I don’t look over the fences anymore which I believe came with age and appreciating myself where I am, as I am. But I used to be that bulldog with a fake happy smile on my face. So I guess I have flip flopped in both ways. Keep posting…really liked this one.
    Blessings Katie from Kate

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Lately I’ve been realising just how judgemental I can be. Ugh! And I’m more “woke” than I ever was which makes me wonder- How bad was I before?!- Something to improve on. Never a bad thing. I’m a true introvert. I have few friends, just the way I like it but I do well with all people, if the setting is right and my mood is stable 🙂 Maybe a dog with frog tendencies? LOL

    Liked by 1 person

    1. A froggy dog? LOL! I reckon we’re all a bit judgmental … maybe it’s something to do with having to judge back in caveman times as to whether the sabre toothed tiger at the cave entrance was a threat or just a sweet pussy cat … Food for thought!

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  8. Just getting around to reading this. Sorry! 🙂

    I’m happy to hear you’ve mostly stopped eating neighboring cats (and their grass) -or WANTING to. 🙂

    What do you feel helped with this change? Medication? Meditation? Mediation? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha! Perhaps all three! No, in truth it was just being busy physically and mentally. It might be a bit harsh to myself to say that I ‘got a life’, but I’d say that perhaps there was a teensy bit of not having the time to worry about what others were doing. Now, I just have to stay busy … but I’m exhausted!! Xx

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