Shopping … Heaven or Hell?

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I am practically naked.

Less than five minutes ago I was a respectable and fully dressed woman picking out an assortment of pretty summer dresses to try on. But those dresses are now on the only hook in the changing cubicle and my own clothes have just slid off the plastic stool and are in a heap on the floor.

My husband is enthusiastically thrusting more dresses through the increasingly large gap between curtain and wall, so my semi-naked body is exposed to all and sundry. The shop lady who stands by the door is saying, “Only six items at a time!” in a whiny nasal voice. She is clearly irritated by my husband who bounces in and out clutching more clothes and God forbid he’s now bringing in underwear and getting increasingly overexcited. This is a place for women only and he is happily oblivious to her rules. She tries harder, “No men inside sir, this is a respectable establishment.”

My necklace has become entangled in dress number four and I’m trying, in a muck sweat to free myself.

Another woman comes in with an armful of clothes and her husband, seeing a fellow male in the ladies-only section trots in smartly behind her, ignoring shop lady who is now turning purple. The other woman helps me disentangle myself from my necklace and we bond over dresses and underwear, chatting as though we have known each other for years.

The two men excitedly together run in and out of the changing rooms for smaller sizes, bigger sizes, different colours, all the while, discussing the rugby. They have a role and are apparently loving it, particularly when they find something in the sale section. The other woman and I chatter and giggle as our husbands enthuse about how wonderful we both look. We giggle all the more. A bit of flattery and we’re handing out the credit cards without a care in the world.

Shop lady tries and fails to give our husbands different coloured plastic tickets with the number of items that she thinks we have as yet another floaty, whispy dress flits past her on a clothes hanger. She is now not only purple, but spluttering.

Finally, with our bags of newly purchased items, we happily thank shop lady profusely for her help. She purses her lips and gives a little derogatory sniff in our direction as she turns to her next customer. “Only six items madam! Them is the rules in this establishment.”

Katie.

Do you love or loathe to shop?

28 thoughts on “Shopping … Heaven or Hell?”

      1. I hate that too. The lighting either make a your cellulite look even worse or they have those sneakily tilted mirrors that convince you your skinny. It’s a real shock when the next shop has normal mirrors and you suddenly realize that all the clothes you bought in the last shop now look ridiculous on you!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Ha! Yes, they very kindly put in mirrors so that we can see what the back of us looks like, but frankly when almost starkers, I don’t want to see! It’s not a pretty sight!

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      3. I guess I can speak from experience and say that you’re in the most perfect place to cycle! My bottom is not only going south, but is rather wibbly wobbly too … not a pretty sight. 😳

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  1. I hate the way that clothes shops always have the fitting rooms near the ladies undies area. One gets suspicious looks whilst waiting outside for the other half to try things on. And dare not wander off because you can guarantee she will the come out requiring an opinion (which she will ignore, so why does she ask?).

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ha! Oh I sympathise enormously! I think it must be very difficult as a man shopping with us women. We traipse around endlessly and so often come away empty handed and rather grumpy, complaining that the clothes have all shrunk! Hope you’re well? Katie x

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  2. So funny Katie, I am not so keen on shopping do find the assistants unhelpful bring items they think you will like, and usually say I do not like the colour. I find many seem to like negative colours and I’m rather a pastel hues. Good for you and your hubbies getting on with what is important getting the dresses right.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh I sneak more clothes in than the tag they give you. After asking for other sizes, or going out semi clothes to grab other items, often the staff give up checking. I have to be in a very good mood to try clothes on. Trouble is that also leads to spending!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. My goodness, the bane of my existence during shopping is when the fitting room employee only lets me take a specific amount of clothes into the stall. What’s the point of that?

    Liked by 1 person

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