It Must Be Hard To Be A Man …

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I am officially old. Frankly, the fact that jet lag took me a week to recover from is a pretty clear indication that, yes, I am old. I obviously also suffer from first world problems so forgive me if you can.

When I was a young and carefree twenty something, we would party all night and still manage to go to work the next day. We simply giggled our way through the day on happy memories of the night before, cans of coke and black coffee. Now, if I manage to stay awake until ten o’clock, I’m doing well. ‘Tis a sad state of affairs.

Yesterday on the train, I was not just an old woman, but a grumpy old woman.

“Why do they say twice at every single station, ‘Mind the gap’?” I snapped at my husband.

“I mean really,” I continued, warming to my theme, “How many people have actually fallen down the gap between the train and the platform. I’ve never seen even one!”

He peered at me over his glasses, looking a little baffled and worried as to whether or not this was one of those test questions, like “How much do you love me?” (Just for your information, this is a test question and in order to avoid divorce, the answer should be … “I love you more than the best pint of beer in the best pub with the best supermodel talking about the best Formula One cars.” This would be a perfect answer.)

“See!” I said, “Nobody has ever fallen down the gap!”

“Perhaps they haven’t fallen because they constantly remind us not to.” He replied carefully.

“Pah!” I snorted. “I’d like to test your theory. Are you honestly saying that if they didn’t say “Please Mind the Gap” in that mind-numbingly dull voice, then we’d see a plethora of people wedged side by side hanging between the train and the platform all wailing to be rescued with their arms waving?”

By now I was not only belligerent, but completely beyond all reason, so husband dearest twitched his nose and took it upon himself to find the newspaper rather interesting. In his mind, this too was clearly a test … discovering when it is best to keep quiet rather than to instigate World War III. Some times it really must be hard being a man.

Katie xx

Ps Any thoughts?

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43 thoughts on “It Must Be Hard To Be A Man …”

  1. My mother fell into the gap on platform 15 at clapham junction on the 12th December 2008. Not that she ever reminded me that i hadn’t pointed out the yawning chasm to her. She bounced out quite promptly all things considered (she was 80 and built for comfort not speed, with the stride length of a lilliputian who gave up long jump early in life). There was no announcement that day as they were on a loop of ‘See it, say it, Sordid’ or whatever that piece of anti terrorist mumbo jumbo actually says.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Oh he sounds like a very wise man! (And I think we are both rather lucky …. there is a husband of a dear friend of mine who just goes on and on and on. Honestly I’m surprised she hasn’t hit him with heavy object!)

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  2. Lots of people fall in the crack. Lose shoes. Get stuck. Whatever. Nyc is highly litigious. The highest number of cases in the judicial system in nyc is against the MTA…..and people are that stupid

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh dear! I once dropped my dog off the platform and then climbed down onto the tracks to retrieve her. I’m surprised I didn’t get into all sorts of trouble (as well as being electrocuted). It was a bit tricky climbing back up as I was pregnant at the time … I was definitely the stupid one, but I shall blame it on the raging hormones! 😳

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes … they should. But then they’d have to add, “Please mind your head” as an aside in case people leapt with a little too much vigour and height. Although a good run up to it might prevent that … but then if everyone did a run up it might become a little chaotic … Hmmm

        Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh my goodness … thank you, thank you for this! He’s brilliant and hilarious. Will now go back and read more of his posts. The Colonel definitely will relate to this, but I won’t wake him just yet, it’s only 5am and I might be pushing my luck ..

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  3. My mum had a habit of not minding the gap at The Bank Station in London and hurt herself a few times. She hated the gap and eventually refused to use the Central Line. Dad got his head stuck in the train door there too. My husband is very pragmatic and unphased by train announcements. Me I get very hot under the collar and find any mumbled announcement irritating. Speak bloody English I shriek and sometimes I even buzz the helpline to ask why the message got the train name wrong. I mean just a month ago the guy announced a Hanault train when were in Epping! It’s impossible!!!! Going to the dogs!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha!!! He got his head stuck in the train door??!! Oh dear! I’m with you on the mumbling … it’s intensely irritating. I hadn’t thought of pressing the helpline! Excellent idea!

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    1. Ha! Oh dear! We tend to be a slightly more sensitive breed than your lucky selves, and at irritatingly random moments demand tact, compassion, total devotion and lots of nodding of your head. God we must be hard to live with!

      Liked by 1 person

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