Are You A Howler?

I saw a picture of Kate Middleton in the news yesterday. She was crying. Well, in truth it was more of a dainty weep (and about what, I know not, but that is not the point …. what a lot of what-nots. Forgive me – I digress).

She had a delicate trickle from one eye which required nothing more than a gentle dab with a lacy handkerchief. I wanted to stroke her hand and sing soothing words, but given that she is on the other side of the world and I am a complete stranger to her, I suspect I would probably be arrested even if I could travel across continents in seconds and climb into her bullet/mad-woman-proofed Range Rover.

My point is this: Yes, her weeping brought out the mother in my soul and I wanted to comfort her, but most importantly, it was all so darn feminine and pretty.

I think I could learn something from her.

When I cry, I am a howler. I dribble unattractively, I snort, snuffle and cough. I wail loudly with much flailing of arms. Salty hoses open with full force from my pink puffy eyes and even pinker nose. I look like a small pig with serious issues and an allergy.

I am under no illusions that it is not a pretty look. People will cross roads to avoid me. The Colonel has a tendency to look baffled, bewildered and faintly scared. With good reason I suppose. Thankfully, it tends to be fairly short lived, the end result being a blotchy face with mascara smeared like a panda around my eyes and black streaks down my cheeks; the occasional sniff, an apologetic grin and it’s all over. The relief on the Colonel’s face is rather endearing.

Thankfully this is a rare event. Indeed I’d say it’s only happened twice this year. But boy does it feel good! A hearty old blub and the world is a better place. A release of pent-up frustration and whoosh it’s all over. I could start on making comparisons to orgasms, but I think that might open a can of worms and I like to keep my posts tasteful and decorous … mostly.

Suffice to say, I am curious …

When did you last cry?

Are you a howler or a weeper?

Did you feel better afterwards?

Katie xx

Ps If there are any men reading this, I’d really, really like to know.

41 thoughts on “Are You A Howler?”

    1. I suppose if it’s at the movie theatre it’s pretty dark? So maybe ugly sobs is not so ugly … could be quite pretty even?! I’m with you though, a good movie and I’m in pieces. I still blub with anything that has Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks in … ‘You’ve got Mail’ was brilliant … a blub-maker for me. X

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  3. Last time I cried, really cried, was… umm 1999-ish. My mom called and asked me to send my little brother money because he and his wife were going hungry. It really tore me up.

    I’ve gotten misty a few times, good misty, overwhelming love for my wife and kids misty. But it’s been 20-odd years since I really gave it a good one.

    What can I say? Men don’t cry.

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    1. Thank you. Thank you for sharing. I’m not surprised you cried … family is everything isn’t it. Happy crying is lovely … I’ve only done that a couple of times and it was overwhelming. I love that your love for your wife and kids sends you a bit misty. Gorgeous.

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    1. The joker, as in Jack Nicholson as the scary joker in Batman?? Ummm nooooo … well maybe … unless, it was a frightened, terrified small tear? Wasn’t he quite frightening?! Or do you mean the new film The Joker? Isn’t that a thriller and quite scary too? Ooooh you’re going to have to tell me more! However, whatever you say, I don’t think you’re crazy at all … especially bearing in mind that I get a bit misty-eyed at Agatha Christie’s Poirot with David Suchet!

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  5. I try to hold it in by tapping my foot very fast. That doesn’t always work, so I have to try tapping my thigh also with my hand. Usually all this does though is let me hold it in …until boom…a deep breath is let out with tears gushing. Of course only for a sort burst, then I’m good to go😊

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  6. This reminds me a sneezing as well. How do some people get any satisfaction of a dainty, “Chew” vs. my hurricane-like, “WaaahCHOO!”?

    So -yes, I’m a howler. I’d like like to get down to twice a year, like you.

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  8. I’m all over the place. I was just about to reply to this post when I decided to take a peek at the previous, being one of 65 I have yet to catch up on. I saw the bit about needing a cut-out hole in order to sleep on your back (should you develop a Kardashian bottom) and now I am HOWLING for real! But it is tears of laughter that I have missed since I became too busy to keep up wit your posts.

    My oh my, what mirth I have missed!

    Yes, I too love a good old cry and when I do, I holler for England, France and China.
    BTW, did you receive my email? I sent it…oh I don’t know when…August?

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    1. Oh golly …. oh no! I haven’t seen it. But this is awful … I am so sorry. For some reason I am getting no emails whatsoever into that account and I’m not sure what it is that I’ve done. Could we exchange email addresses? I’d like that very much. Should I send you my other address? Once again, my apologies. X

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      1. No worries Katie. I’m not sure how we can do this privately though, coz our emails will then be visible to the whole world. I will see if I can retrieve it and I will send it again today. Then you can check your spam box. 😊

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  9. I’m a silent howler when I’m in real pain (rare), was a loud howler during childbirth (also rare) and an “oh-my-god” weeper watching happy/sad films. Love this topic. Nice one. Loving the other comments. 👏😆😭👌

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    1. Childbirth …. now there’s a reason to howl! You sound rather similar to me … no wonder I can relate to you! Thanks so much for sharing – I just love hearing about everyone and the way we are similar, different … everything. 😘

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  10. Is the way you cry uncontrollable? Or do you just not want to control it? Genuinely curious, not saying you should! I control mine pretty forcefully so that it looks fairly innocent, lol. A few tears dripping from one eye, a little sniff, maybe a cough. No wailing, though, oh gosh I’d die!

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    1. I have no control!! Actually that’s not strictly true … I think I can control the wailing, but it simply becomes a muffled howl so I sound hiccupy. I shall endeavour to restrain myself but ‘tis not an easy task!! I think it also depends on the reason for it. When my father died it was understandably uncontrollable, but if I’m simply hormonal, then that’s a different matter and although it will never be delicate, it is marginally less hysterical.

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    1. Yes, on losing my father I fell to the floor and was utterly uncontrollable. I understand. In instances like that, I don’t think that there is much that one can do, except allow that person to howl in their grief until it passes. Thank you for being honest, I so love that about you. I think that makes you very special and very strong. I hope that today all is ok. Kx

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  13. My theory on what happens with me and crying – The emotion seems to build up inside over time, so I have an inner pool, perhaps something like one of those underground caverns with lakes in. Generally when the emotion pool is highly topped up, then it just takes a moment in a movie or a tv show to send me over the edge, and a few tears roll out.

    I can’t remember wailing or sobbing since being a small child.

    The trigger doesn’t need to be something incredibly moving or harrowing, sometimes it might happen during a Star Wars or Marvel film, or an episode of Call The Midwife (now I am sounded soppy!!), as long as I’m suitably involved in it to be stirred to tears.

    Sometimes, though rarely, it can be just music. I’d just pulled up at home the other week and Pavarotti singing Nessun Dorma came on the radio. I sat to listen to it, and a tear manifested at the pinnacle at the end. I think my mood at the time had to be in a certain place, other times I’ve been far less moved by the same song.

    It’s rare that I will cry without such a trigger, although with young kids there have been numerous moments where the tears have been of pride rather than anything sad. My daughter winning pupil of the year at her dance club a couple of years back, my son winning trampoline competitions, our younger son being born back in June…

    Actually since having kids it’s soften me up hugely – and I wasn’t that tough before!

    But to answer your post Katie, no I’m not a howler, more a dignified silent tear trickler…

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    1. Aw what a lovely, lovely answer! Thank you so much for telling me. I get it, absolutely. Sometimes it’s just the straw that breaks the camel’s back and therefore it can be the smallest thing. I remember whilst cycling last year and came across two small boys who were selling peaches. After I’d bought a couple, we had a lovely little chat in my rubbish French and then they gave me one for free. Their lovely smiling faces and generosity made me have a little snivel of gratitude at their kindness. So sweet of them.
      In truth, I suspect that there are a few of us who would have a little cry hearing Pavarotti singing Nessun Dorma. It is absolutely and extraordinarily moving. Surely no one can do it better?
      Thanks again for your words. 😘

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      1. It is strange, what triggers the tears. We watched the last two Avengers movies over the weekend (Infinity War and Endgame) and on one hand I think these are like watching video games, and just violent, comic book nonsense, but on the other, both were engaging and human enough to move me to tears. I’m such a lightweight, ha ha.

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      2. Ha! I like that! I have been known to burst into tears if I get a huge shock … I once literally bumped into someone on a street corner and we both screamed like mad things and then I burst into tears and then subsequently started laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. I just might be faintly unhinged!

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  14. I cried today… I just felt over tired I think. Sometimes like today my tears fall silently along with few sniffles. Other times if Im upset about something huge… Im a messy crier.
    Movies that are sad can make me bawl very ungracefully…

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    1. Aww I’m sorry to hear that … hope you managed to get some rest. You know, I do think that sometimes we can get teary when we’re overtired – I don’t know what happens, but it certainly gets the waterworks going over here! Xx

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  15. I’m… a silent howler, if that makes any sense? Big ugly crying, probably snot included but tend to keep any noises in. Apart from grief. When my Nan died, who I was very close to, and a friend my own age also, I’m sure that I let the sobs out then. I’m not actually sure when I cried most recently. I may be due to let the dams burst, with a lot going on and trying to decrease off of sertraline atm.

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    1. A silent howler …. I like that! Sorry for the delayed response … funny old times here in New York with the Coronavirus and setting ourselves up for isolation. Grief when someone close to us dies is really tough isn’t it … I’m so sorry you’ve gone through that. Stay safe and healthy and good luck with the decreasing of the Sertraline … it’s a big step and so positive. Katie

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