I Make No Excuses

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I made the mistake yesterday whilst on the underground, of asking the Colonel what he was thinking about.

He looked instantly baffled and faintly like a bunny in the headlights. Once again I think that history was paying him a visit and he thought it was a trick question. It wasn’t. I was simply curious as to how and why someone could remain completely silent for the amount of time it took to get from Baker Street to Notting Hill Gate.

‘Really,’ I grinned, nodding encouragingly, ‘What were you really thinking about for soooo long? I don’t mind if it was about the lady with the big boobies over there,’ I whispered.

‘I hadn’t noticed’ he said sanctimoniously but with a twitch of a grin. I laughed.

‘In actual fact’, he said, (he never uses normal words like ‘actually’) ‘In actual fact, I was wondering about the advert up there’ and he pointed towards one of the advertisements set in a neat row above the tube maps in our carriage. It was a drab and dreary looking picture. He carried on solemnly, ‘It’s for a new business card which apparently is being voted rather highly by Which magazine’.

I paused, it now being my turn to feel baffled. ‘Seriously?’ I asked. ‘That’s what you were thinking about?’ He nodded.

‘Crikey,’ I sighed. ‘No wonder you get so much more done in a day than I do. Shall I tell you what I was thinking?’ I carried on without waiting for an answer. ‘By the way, you do realise you didn’t say a word for at least four stops, and we had to change platforms?’ I confess this might have come out in a faintly accusatory tone.

He was starting to look a little bewildered; indeed, as though looking at the lady with the big boobies might have been a better option.

‘I too was looking at the adverts,’ I said importantly. ‘That one,’ I said and pointed to an advertisement containing a picture of a simple white bowl which was filled, indeed heaped rather artistically with peas.

‘However, I don’t know what mine is actually advertising because that isn’t important to me. But,’ I held up my finger to point out the crucial part was to follow, ‘But, I was wondering if I was to take one of the peas from the bottom of the pile, whether they would all have fallen out. And then,’ I started giggling oblivious to his bemused expression, ‘And then,’ I carried on, ‘I started thinking how funny it would be if all the peas fell out of the advert and onto the lady with the big boobies, down her cleavage even, and then into our carriage, until there were peas everywhere! Imagine it!’

By now I was laughing uproariously. My hands were clasped together in delight and I fear I was receiving a few quizzical looks from nearby strangers.

The Colonel peered closely at me whilst scrunching up his nose. He pushed up his glasses with one solitary finger and frowned. ‘Help me God,’ he muttered and started shaking his head. He then opened up the newspaper.

I sighed, my bubble momentarily burst. But seconds later, I rummaged in my handbag for two pencils and then opened up my own copy of The Standard. I silently handed one pencil to him and we glanced at each other, slowly both beginning to smirk and then, in an undignified scramble raced to find the crossword at the back of the newspaper to see who could finish it first.

Katie x

Do you think it matters if you’re like chalk and cheese?

How do you differ?

41 thoughts on “I Make No Excuses”

      1. Not really. We accept each other more. He knows I’m going to shy away from big gatherings and I’m cool with him going to big gatherings alone

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I think perception (inlcuding self-perception) plays a big part here. For example I would say I’m introverted, shy, even anti-social. (Not like ASBO anti-social, just I rarely go out socially.) But in my day job I lead a small team, I’m pretty big on regular communications, and I’m quite happy talking and presenting in meetings. Some years ago I was a salsa teacher and sometimes taught large groups of 40 or 50 people in large halls, needing to project my voice far more than I ever thougth I could. I loved it. But on the flip side most of the time I’m very private and talk very little!

    Also I wonder if some people just think to themselves a great deal (like me) and others think just as much but out loud, perhaps like you Katie. We’re both still thinking, just with different levels of sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I spend far too much time thinking and I wear myself out with it all. Sometimes I have to stop myself from ruminating which is a bad habit that I’ve been known to indulge in. I do love to discuss these thoughts if nothing else but to make some sense of them all, such as this post. I find it interesting that you feel you are both shy and introverted and yet can present meetings. This is surely the best of both worlds isn’t it? I’d certainly like to be able to do that … as for the salsa, I am in awe … 💃


  2. Very funny as always Katie. And here is me thinking there is nothing remotely amusing about the London Underground.
    Anyway, this lady with the big boobies got my attention, tell me more……

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha!! 😂😂 Oh I do love the Underground… always funny things to see! We’ve now arrived in New York so am wondering if there will be funny going’s on here on the ‘subway’ … time will tell! How’s you? X

      Liked by 1 person

  3. My husband and I share many interests and (according to my mother) the same odd sense of humor. We’re similar enough that, had I asked the same question of him on the tube, I’d have felt surprised that he was not also considering the bowl of peas.

    In truth, his mind is the more active one lately and mine is suffering from Mother Mush. So, perhaps I’d be like your Colonel and he’d be the one giggling.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much 😊. That’s very kind. Have finally come up for air after a month of moving, living in transit flats, hotels etc. We have a lovely apartment in the city and our first guests have just left. Life will now settle down a little. And what of you? How’re you? ❤️


      1. Oh how kind! Thank you. Yes, I’m here in NYC and have been adapting to what is a very different world across the pond. The weather is wonderfully warm and the apartment is pure heaven with lovely views. You’d have your cameras out non-stop! But how are you? Sorry, I’m so behind with writing and reading posts, but I do hope all is well with you?


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