We live in an apartment. It’s an apartment in Manhattan with one of those downstairs reception hall places with people in uniforms who sit behind a big modern desk with lots of telephones and say, “Have a nice day” each and every time you pass them. That’s a lot of “Have a nice days”. They also give me a spare key every time I forget mine and call me to ask if I need the fire department when I set off the smoke alarm in the kitchen. Its a bit posh for me, but they’re lovely and we understand each other.
Yesterday I made the unfortunate decision to go to Costco to do some food shopping. Now, just to be clear, I obviously have aspirations to be a Waitrose or Wholefoods kind of ‘gal but I believe that I must have some Scottish ancestry which makes me … shall we say, ‘careful with money’. Therefore Costco is my weekly shop.
I had forgotten that at weekends however the trains often have delays because this is when maintenance work is done. I had also forgotten that if it looks like it’s merely drizzling from the apartment windows, it is actually gale force one zillion with horizontal rain once you step outside.
Being Autumn, I had worn my ‘Glasgow’ coat which the Colonel bought me on a posting to Scotland a couple of years ago. My lovely coat with its fleecy lining reaches mid-thigh, and has a hood with soft fluffy bits that frame one’s face. It is supposed to be completely waterproof. I now know that it is not.
I sat in a puddle on the train squeezing ineffectively the drenched sleeves whilst listening to my Audible book “Next Steps in French” by Paul somebody and muttered in French every few seconds the response to his questions. I can now say, “I am afraid of flying, so am planning to take the Eurostar”. I know for a fact this sentence will never be useful to me, but perhaps the next chapter will be more relevant.
By the time I had walked from the subway station and arrived at Costco I was wet from my forehead to my knickers and from my knickers to my squelching sodden shoes. My neatly written shopping list had turned to papier-mâché in my pocket and the quirky turquoise ink that I like to use had transferred, not only onto my right hand, but clearly I had been touching or wiping my face rather a lot too. In fact, the only part of me which was dry was the back of my head, and as for the soft fluffy hood delicately framing my face? I looked like I was draped in a collection of small drowned rats’ tails.
Having squelched and shuffled my way round Costco, it took an hour and a half to get from the checkout queue back to my apartment. And, as I walked into the reception hallway, three wide pairs of eyes looked at me from behind the desk.
“Don’t say it!” I said through gritted teeth. “It’s not a good day.”
They looked sympathetically up and down at me, tutting and shaking their heads. Then they nodded, looked at each other and simultaneously said, “Ma’am, have a better day!” and roared with laughter. Bollocks to the lot of them.
As for the “Next Steps in French” by Paul somebody, by the time I had gotten home and onto the next chapter, I could say, “I was about to book a taxi when you called me”.
As I’m too tight to get a taxi, I don’t see that this is ever going to be relevant either … although perhaps it would have saved me the delayed trains, the soaking knickers and the turquoise face … as for my Glasgow coat … I don’t believe the fluffy bits will ever look the same.
Katie x
Ps. Before you ask what the relevance of the picture is, there isn’t any, it just made me feel wonderful simply looking at it!
We order ours these days, usually from Sainsburys. Delivery is free if over £100 (it nearly always is), and it’s much less hassle unloading a few crates in the kitchen and putting it away than all the work involved before that. Takes ten minutes instead of two hours plus. Some might say lazy, we say efficient, and it gives us more time to do more important things that buying the same food items from the same shelves week in week out! Plus of course any inclement weather is suffered by the delivery driver, not us!
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Absolutely a good use of one’s time and worth every penny. We used to do the same with Tescos and the drivers were all so cheery despite all the weather which was lovely. Plus I like the fact that you can check out all the things on special offer whilst sitting at the kitchen table – so much easier.
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Fairway, Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods.
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I’ve heard that Fairway does very good fish …? I love Wholefoods although got very confused at the numbered and coloured check-out screens the first time I went there. I shall persevere and lovely to know that you vary where you shop … I think you’ve got it sorted!
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Whole Foods has best fish. I like them best. If you can, Union Square farmers market for stuff!
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Oh that’s worth knowing thank you! I’ve just googled it and it looks great … many thanks x
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💗💗
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I love shopping in French markets and my closest independent shops. If it’s raining, I take the car. If it’s not, I cycle. Our French security guards are in a glass box. If they snigger, I can’t hear them!
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Ha! Ooooh French markets are wonderful … I do envy you!
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I know, I’m very fortunate!
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Ooh la la! That sounds idyllic!
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It is!
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You make shopping in the rain sound fun (from the reader’s perspective). Thanks for the laughs and warnings. 🙂
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Pleasure! I’ve dried out now … 😬
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So now you’re a prune? 🙂
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Yup, as shrivelled as a prune. And the not so fluffy coat is rather crispy … like a book that’s been dried out having fallen in the bath. ☹️
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🙂
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I think you definitely deserved one of those dessert thingies after an expedition like that!
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Oh yes!! Doesn’t it look delicious!
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Having been introduced to Waitrose by a friend (who knew exactly what time of day they reduced prices on certain items) I thought I would order online from them one week when I felt disinclined to venture out.
I had reached £100 before I was halfway down my shopping list.
I emptied my virtual shopping basket and logged in to Morrisons.
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Ha!!! Oh God yes, I know just how you feel! Morrison’s is great though – there were a few in Glasgow and they had a specials aisle which was uber cheap. I liked that a lot!
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That’s so funny! I would do the same 🤣
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You are never going to get me out of the suburbs!
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Ha! I don’t blame you 💕
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This was fun to read! Not that I am in any way laughing at your misery 😦 But it was so well written! And next time you end up accidentally getting wet in the rain, just imagine yourself in a Bollywood rainy, romantic song, and literally, just let go and enjoy every bit of the raindrops against your skin…I mean it won’t solve your problem, but at least you will be in a temporary happy bubble until of course you go inside and feel like Olaf from Frozen! ^_^
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That’s good advice, though…I’ve never seen a Bollywood dancer laden with bags of shopping. Maybe this is a craze that could catch on? 🤣
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I could start a Bollywood rain dancing craze, I love that idea! … although the bags were so darn heavy it might be a little restricted? … quite why I chose to buy a sack of potatoes I really don’t know, although Costco only sells in bulk and they were so cheap, I couldn’t help myself. Honestly I’m pathetic!!
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Haha, yes absolutely, the more people do that, the more people will follow. OR, we can just set the bags aside, do the bollywood rain dance (NOT the “How I Met Your Mother” rain dance though) and then once that is done, probably proceed to the task of cursing whoever fled with the bags! 😛 😛
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Lol!!! Absolutely! Someone would have nicked them and we’d have been absolutely oblivious!
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Haha yepp 😛
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Ha! I’m so glad you enjoyed it! The weather here in New York has taken a turn for the worse so I appear to be permanently soggy, but never mind, I’ve heard that in winter it can snow a lot … and we all love a bit of snow!! I shall take heed of your wonderful advice and imagine the Bollywood romantic song, have a little dance and think of you as I hop around in the rain next time!! That’s really made me smile!Thanks for reading x
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Haha, don’t even get me started on the snow! I shall forget worrying about being frozen though, and go back to being in constant paranoia regarding going *whoosh* on the slippery ice/snow..*facepalm* But I’m glad the idea made you smile! I hope the weather gets better on your end, but considering it’s almost snow-time, I’m probably wrong 😥 But still, hope for the best!
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Your writing always makes me smile Katie💕. You deserve oodles of cake!
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Thank you! I shall endeavour to eat more cake now as I’m particularly scrawny at the moment … I haven’t seen a Victoria Sponge here yet which is my absolute favourite and the flour on sale here is decidedly dodgy so my baking leaves a lot to be desired, but shall persevere! X
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Scrawny? In America? Is that legal? Either way – it means you can pig out on cake guilt-free if you can find a good cake! x
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Ha! I know … it’s ridiculous! You’re right tho’ definitely time to pig out! X
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As usual, your expert ability to turn words into visual imagery, had me howling with laughter at the ‘rats tails’ description. I could clearly see you with that hood and turquoise/streaked face of woe. 🤣 But I’ve always loved the thought of living in one of those ‘reception-manned’ apartments! That’s the Sanguine side of me. It sounds so protective, warm and friendly. But yes, I agree with you that when ones temperament has veered to the more melancholy side, any gawping, sniggers and inappropriate remarks would force out the choleric bits lying low. (Cholerics are the ones who snap at people when they don’t see the funny side, Sanguines never shut up and love chatting to strangers, Mels are analytical and more sensitive – I’m Divergent – a bit of all three.) Thanks for an early morning giggle! 🤣🤣🤣
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So glad you enjoyed it! I’m loving the Cholerics, Sanguines, Mels and Divergents … I’ve never heard of this and now need to have a google to find out which I am! Thanks so much! Ps. Loooooved your email and hope you got response! X
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Oh you are hoot. When we went to Florida I could have spent the entire fortnight in Walmart. Where else could you buy water melons, tractor tyres and assault rifles under the same roof.
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Exactly!! It’s quite extraordinary…. but of course it must all be bought in bulk at Costco, so that’s a lot of melons to get through … They do however have a big ice cream section which you might like 😉
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I used to go to Costco. Liked the warehouseness of it all. Bulk shopping over and done with. Now we seek out farm shops and hope to grow our own veg. Generally I find supermarkets stressful. Online shopping I love. And funny how shopping is so different in different countries. It’s all food but somehow well different.
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Absolutely …. shopping here makes me appreciate how cheap it is in the U.K. but then again, the choice here is absolutely incredible. You can literally buy anything!
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Ah Katie you poor thing! I was grocery shopping in the rain this morning too, it’s no fun! but makes for hilarious reading, bless your heart xxx
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Aww thank you! Shopping in the rain is not good is it! Xx
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What a terribly uncomfortable shopping trip. On the bright side, makes for a hilarious story! Thanks for the giggles.
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Thank you for the humour! The antidote for the saddening times.
(PS: You have a wonderful blog)
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Awww you’re really very kind. Thank you and I hope you’re having a good day in these troubled times. X
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sorry you got soaked but love the humour you relate when sharing the episode with us .. good writing!
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Ha! Thanks very much! Stay well
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🙂
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