42. Is Happiness a Piece Of Cake?


As time passes, I’m beginning to understand myself better. Seems faintly tragic that it’s taken 48 years, however the more I understand, the easier life becomes. I’ve learnt what to add into my life and what to avoid like the plague. Bit like a cake recipe really … add another egg for more lift and va va voom and less syrup and treacle to make it lethargically stodgy and sink like a stone. Yes, I am indeed, a cake (hopefully chocolate).

I’m discovering the things I like, loathe, need and most definitely don’t need in my life. I’ve also realised that there are some things that I’m hugely sensitive to … but what I’m understanding is that I’m not alone! Thank the Lord … I just thought I was a bit odd. To specify …

  • I loathe loud or sudden noises (sudden and loud and I’ve been known to turn feral) …. Many years ago my children thought it would be highly amusing to jump out at me from hiding in the airing cupboard, resulting in ‘yours truly’ screaming with true gusto, roaring that they were out of The Will and promptly bursting into tears. They’ve never done it again. Poor little buggers …. I had to apologise more than they did. The Colonel also knows that on entering a room he is far better gently singing Ave Maria in soothing tones than announcing his arrival with any form of unanticipated volume.
  • I love bonfires. I could stare into a fire for hours, feeling the heat. For me it’s as soothing as listening to water, but without the consequence of desperately needing a tiddle. (In case that’s just an English thing, it means a wee!). I find it wonderfully calming.
  • In terms of needs, I need to just sometimes remember that I do have to have downtime, me time, time out, whatever you want to call it, but I need to be able to just to take a breath, and check up on myself. To ask myself, “What have I done for my mental health today?” I need a little bit of care and occasionally to treat myself like Dresden China.
  • And as for what I definitely don’t need in my life …. I don’t need bad people. Narcissists, liars and unkind people (who tend to be desperately insecure I’ve found). I did a bit of ‘culling’ of friends on Facebook last year … terribly therapeutic once I’d stopped feeling guilty.

I’m sure that this is fairly simplistic, but in truth, that’s me. Simple. So in summary, I believe that I shall add more fires to my life, have the occasional massage (can I put that down as ‘me time’ or am I pushing this a bit?), wear ear muffs on bonfire night and ditch anyone who isn’t genuinely lovely, gorgeous and reckons that adding a few of these ‘eggs to ones cake’ is not weird, but absolutely necessary.


29 thoughts on “42. Is Happiness a Piece Of Cake?”

  1. Massage time definitely counts as “me time”! I highly recommend a regular massage, though perhaps not the therapeutic type – they can be a bit aggressive. Personally, I enjoy a well-made pie over cake, but to each her own! ; )

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That sounds great. I also get startled easily and unhappily, so I keep trying to tell my partner to make noise coming down the stairs or from whatever horizon, since if someone just pops into the room with me I scream and if close, hit or kick. Oh well–those who need to know have been warned!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. One of my exes and I, both hardcase kickboxers in Geordieland those days, once walked outdoors on a windy day, and he thought he felt someone touch him. He whirled around and shattered a roof tile out of midair. I was friggin glad that I was not standing too close to him. PTSD and hypervigilance are real things.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. That may have been an extreme case–yes, yes, it was, clearly!–but yeah, it happens. I think the body just does what it feels it needs to do to protect itself, like the bodies of the dissociative/multiple folks we are all friends with online here. The body and brain have amazing and creative coping skills that sometimes do great, and sometimes are a a bit much–depends on context, I guess.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi there K,
    You don’t know how happy it’s made me to find someone that loves bonfires as much as I do. A huge part of my childhood was spent in my Grandfather’s garden where we would have huge bonfires, drink hot chocolate, and snack on great food! I kinda wish professional bonfire expert was a career choice, but alas, I’ll make do with the 5th of November!
    Best wishes,
    Off Your Chest blog

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Wow! Happy? oh yes! Was i depressed? Not after reading your sweet blog posts… it may wreck my posts now. Is that good? I write better depressed. I will give up the anxious though and rest in your calming thoughts. I have been depressed all my life and not willing to let go what has always been me. 🐝 looking for nectar to make some honey? I will be by for sure. 💙🕊🎶🎶🔥

    Liked by 2 people

  5. My husband used to try to scare me on purpose, but I screamed so loud and long he stopped. And then he used to scare me on accident – and I screamed loud and long. He now has a song which he sings (somewhat like your husband) when he is entering a room. His is his own made up song. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love that! Bless him! I think some of us are more jumpy than others … I went to see the film Red Sparrow at the weekend with him. Spent about a third of the film with my fingers in my ears and squeezing my eyes tight shut … horrendous! With rape, torture, vicious murders I was surprised at it being a 15. Or maybe I just misread that bit! However, husband dearest thinks I’d be jumpy if Mary Poppins was on… 😬

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I too love bonfires, in fact fires in general. I could sit for hours in front of a real fire, or our open burner, and watch the changing colours and embers: something so beautiful and yet so powerful always reminds me just how insignificant we are when compared to the elements.
    Loving the cake analogy, I think I would be a lemon drizzle cake: can be really sweet and comforting, but also has a sharp side.
    Loving your blog. R ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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